Why Book Making And Cheap Canvas Should Be Illegal.....(well, one is...)

There's a reason for that grinning skull in bright red.....read on....

Minor Rant Alert dear readers!

This falls under the heading of *Stupid Things Anne Does With Little Thought Attached*.

I apologize for bad pun in the post title, but dang it, it was just sooooo tempting! Without further ado, my experiences this week with:

1. The making of a small sketchbook

~~and~~

2. Cheap canvas.

While finishing up my ArtLab #1 class, I was also trying my hand at a self made sketch journal, and I had instructions (take note here) for an EASY, TEN MINUTE JOURNAL.

Um hmmmm. Why go for EASY??? 

The fact I had absolutely no experience in putting a book together did not slow me down one bit. I wanted a nice book, with covers made from canvas panels, collaged from papers we exchanged during our class, and the panels were sort of mirror images of each other and reflected the course I was just finishing. Then whenever I used it, I would have fond memories of putting the last touches on it, the last day of class.

HA.

It fought me all the way. I happened to take it out of the vise where it was drying, for some reason, only to discover that the canvas panels were way too close together and I could not open the book. Okay, about 2 inches, but that doesn't allow sketching or journaling or collage, does it? So I hurriedly grabbed a palette knife and got the heavy watercolor paper OFF the covers as best I could and was left with something that looked like this:

All the papers used in the collage were from our paper swap during the Art Lab Class...even the ones that repaired the insides.....

I decided to let it sit a day or two before retackling the issue. Now I have a nice book with a book marker and little dangly things that will no doubt get in the way, but it OPENS and LOOKS GOOD.

Finished book.....whew..

 

And the dangly bits.....  :-)

End of horror story one.

Story two; cheap canvas.

Occasionally I succumb to purchasing a pack of *bargain canvas* because I want a particular size, can't find the good stuff locally and don't want to wait on an order. Now, I am not so thick in the skull that I expect perfection, but here was the label:

....Soooooooo, I did not exactly expect THIS:

That thing at the bottom? That is the archival back stapled canvas....in some universe, just not mine. The top canvas is the one I reworked into something, well, canvas-like.

I ended up with a full morning spent pulling staples (cuss), restretching canvas (cuss), adding a canvas tightener to the LIMP fabric (cuss cuss), adding gesso to whatever slicker-than-you-know-what paint was on there and finally going to town and getting the soothing combo of crunchy Cheetos and a diet Pepsi.

Am I the only one this happens to???

There is no moral to this story. Just read and laugh. Oh how I love being an artist........SOME days!

Now go make art! (on good canvas!)

Pax....

Milo Visits The Pastor ~or~ A Changed Bug

I had decided that Mr. Milo M. Bug really needed a little face time with someone that had better parenting skills that myself and might be able to coax him into behaving a bit more....ummmmmm.....predictably. I did not want to have to worry about leaving the computer on or having to lock the parakeets somewhere, and frankly, I think the little guy was just worn out, wound up and needed some settling down.

I got him up and told him, "Milo, this is a big day because you're going someplace special." He wasn't moving too fast; you know, kids always know when something is up.
"We get to ride in the car today--a pretty long ride, so hurry and get ready."

All the way up there was little chatter....he had brought his afghan along, for whatever reason and mostly he worked it in knots in his little bug hands.  Hmmmmm.......

Pastor Steve welcomed us and I thought I was going to lose Milo.
"Oh he's so tall! He could squish me!" And he promptly hid behind a pillow and his afghan; just antennae, hat and eyes peeking out.

(We had planned something more formal in the sanctuary, but there was no moving the bug.)
"Milo," Pastor Steve said, "Anne has told me about your adventures. You know, for a nice bug your age, you should be behaving a little better and not getting into mischief that adults do, and shouldn't."

Milo peered out. "I know. I just don't really know what is right and what is wrong until it happens. I don't mean to get into trouble, but it does seem to find me sometimes." He thought a moment and added, "Well, a lot of times, I guess."

"Milo," I said, "You tell the Pastor what you've been up to. Just whisper, I won't listen. You get that off your chest, say you're sorry, and mean it too." So the two leaned close and there were a lot of interesting expressions....... (especially from the Pastor)

Pastor Steve looked at him quite seriously and asked, "Do you want to continue like this or would you like to make some changes to help in making your life better?"
Milo looked at me and I nodded *yes* and then he nodded *yes* too. "What do I have to do?"
"Well, Anne told me your mom goes to church, and eventhough it is a different one than here, I am sure she would not mind if you were brought into *the church*---the One Church. Are you willing to be serious about this and start living a good life and doing good things and helping others?" the Pastor asked.

"Yes, yes!" Milo answered. "I want to be a new bug when I go home to Mom! I want Mom to be proud of what I have learned while I was on my trip!" He paused, then asked, "So, can you help me do that?"
Pastor Steve nodded.
"Yes Milo. We will do a Provisional Ceremony for you, to bring you into the fold, and make you a new bug--at least from the aspect of your soul. Do you understand?"
Milo seemed pretty excited and nodded *yes* quite vigorously.

"I'm ready!" he said with a surprising vigor.

So the two began the Provisional Ceremony to bring little Millenium Bugs into a new life. There were questions and answers and some prayers, and finally, the presentation of a beautiful white bible.

"This is so you don't forget today," Pastor Steve said as he inscribed the inside cover. "You can always look at this and read, and you will find the answers you need in the tough spots in life."

Then he blessed Milo, and I think there was a little tear in Milo's eye, and I know there were a few in mine. (I was so proud of the little bug!)

"Now go in peace Milo. Do no harm. And always remember there is Someone much greater than any of us who loves you unconditionally."

Milo sniffed, smiled brightly and said, "Thank you!!! You've been so nice to me!" And he hung onto his bible tightly as we got ready to leave.

Pastor Steve said one last thing as we were leaving, and it sounded pretty much like, "Stay OFF the internet."

And I had one happy, tired bugboy when I got home, who was just not letting go of his book, even in bed.

Ah, tomorrow, he shall begin packing to go home to Deb and the blue pool and a different life.....I wonder if he will remember all that has happened today?

Will he remember???

I hope so........

Milo's "NO!" Day

I guess all kids have "NO!" days, and young bugs are no different. I am exhausted as I type this. These are select episodes from a very long "No Day"...... *sigh*

This was the angelic face I woke to, asking if we could go outside. Of course, it was a beautiful day. Just let me get my work clothes on and don't mess with the birds while I am changing.....Okay???? (hahaha, Anne.....do you believe you expect that face to listen? he has plans....)

And here we go.........I come down to this.......

....And this.......

.....And this.......MILO! NO!.......       (the parakeets were NOT amused...)

"Go put your farm clothes on and meet me on the porch; I have to set the chipmunk trap." My patience was a little thin, but then, I'm not used to little ones.....*deep breath*

"Milo, no, I'll get those for you..........."

"MILO!!!! NO!" Oh heavens, I have to get him out before he suffocates......

This is my fault. I walked to the shed for clippers, and he has natural curiosity........

"Help! I just wanted to see how it worked! Get me out!!!" (I am already worn out........)

"Milo---NO!"

"Milo, quit throwing crab apples at me! Get down now!"

The next thing I see is him running across the yard to the acre of corn....... "Miiillllooooooo.......NO!!!!!"

After falling in the weeds, I find the little goomer up a cornstalk, playing with the silk.

"Get down from there, NOW. And I have to get out of here--there is pollen and ragweed everywhere; I'm itching and can't breathe! Come on, be good.....let's go in the house and get a soda...." (any bribe to get him in....)

"Milo, you could have been lost for good out there, you know that? What would I tell Deb?" I asked, while gulping down a drink. "And you're all dirty, so young man, you're getting a bath!"

I don't think I have seen him move so fast as when the *B* word was mentioned.

"Nooooooooo!!!!!" says the bug, hiding in my orchids. "I don't want my antennae wet!"

"Well I have a remedy for that and it's called a shower cap. Come on. NOW."

I got the bath drawn and he brought his towel and scrubber and acquiesced to the little bug sized shower cap.

He seemed to be enjoying himself, even though he was trying hard not to show it.

"You need any help Milo?" I asked.

"NO!"

Ooooooookay.....we're just having a bad bug day.....

"Can a bug have some privacy to dry off???"

I go in the other room, and when he is dry, it is bedtime for Milo.

"I'm taking you to meet someone tomorrow that may be able to get you to behave a little better. So go to sleep, and rest up good." I lean down to give him a goodnight peck and he pulls the quilt up.

And all I hear is a muffled "NO!" from beneath the covers.

Am *I* ready for bed???  Oh YES!!!!

Milo Helps On The Church Commission

After yesterday's great adventures with nature, I knew I had work to do, and it was in the studio. I wasn't sure how this was going to work with Milo due to the last adventures in the studio, and he had not been back.

But I just told him "Milo, we have to get to work, and if you're a good studio assistant, then I will pay you to help. Okay?"

Seemed to be the magic words. "What do I do?" he asked.

I reluctantly handed him a pair of very sharp scissors. "I need a rough cut on this tree pattern---you don't have to follow the lines---I just need the shape cut from the extra paper. Can you do that?"

He grabbed the scissors, plopped down on the table and started cutting. "Yep! I can DO this!"

And he cut and cut.........carefully around the design lines.......

.....In fact, he didn't stop. He kept right on going until the huge tree was almost released from the extra paper it was drawn on! A big tree for a little bug!

"Milo!" I said with a smile, "You did an excellent job! I'm so proud of you; you saved me a lot of time! Thanks!"
He just smiled that sweet smile. "It was fun! And I'm glad you let me help since I sort of messed things up yesterday........"

"Look Milo, we were both okay and so was the mower. We just won't try running anything with an engine. Can you get the Timtex for me? I need it unrolled......."

And he was off, struggling with the big roll......."Do you need help?" I asked.

"Nope! I'm done. It's ready for you to start marking." He eyed the wall where the major portion of the work was hanging. "You know, I've painted and drawn before. I can help put the finishing touches on some of that."

Hmmmm........he did good with the scissors, and handled the Timtex.....but paint? I waffled a bit......He didn't.

"You just load your brush halfway up the bristles, so it doesn't slop around."

And the next thing I knew he had suspended himself from the towels I had pinned to keep stray paint off the other portions.

When he finished touching up the edges of the sky, he hot footed it back to the paint and loaded up a brush full of green for the landscape......

"Just a little more up here......"

"....and I'll smooth this line too, to make it look nice."

"There!" he said with a bit of well earned pride. "I think it's a good start! Did I do okay?"

"You did much more than okay Milo---you did SUPER!!! You're very good at this. We had a productive time out here, and had fun too...yes?"

"Yep!" And his little bug-butt was heading for the house, where the cheesecake brownies were. It was a while before I got done for the day and went in to join him but when I did, I found him in the living room, contemplating one of my statues.

"Who is that?" he asked.

"That's a statue of Jesus, who is the Son of God. It's one of my favorites. It came from a church."

Milo sat for a minute rather quiet and I knew something was going on in his brain.

"You know," I continued, "The hanging you worked on today will be in a church too."

He still didn't say anything.

"Have you been to church Milo? Did Deb take you?"

He shook his head *no* very rapidly. "I did not leave the closet because I had heard what people thought of Millenium Bugs and it wasn't nice. I was afraid to come out. Everyone was afraid of us, but they never had met us. So I just stayed there till Mom decided I needed to see the world a bit." He looked at the statue again and then whispered to me, "Do you think HE likes me?"

I patted him on the back and smiled.

"Milo, He loves you, because He made you. And all of us. And everything on the earth and in the skies and beyond. Pretty cool, yes?"

Milo nodded yes as he was heading for his bed. It was early, but he had worked hard. "I think that is very nice," he said through a big bug yawn. And I knew those shiney little eyes would soon be closing for sleep, but his little bug-mind was going to be going a mile a minute.

I wonder what he will come up with tomorrow?

Yawn......