Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Father; Requiescat In Pace

Coy A. Huskey
January 10, 1921-August 13, 1990

I am posting the day before the anniversary of my fathers death. He passed
August 13 of 1990, after a long illness of multiple causes. I was the one who had to make the decision to take him off life support, then tell my mother, home with cancer, that he was gone. I lost her 17 days later. Having no brothers or sisters, the time was overwhelming, and to this day I am not totally healed. I'm as good as I get. I think there are some things from which you never totally recover.
I do not remember him young, nor did I have photos of him from this time period for most of our life together. One of my Aunts was kind enough to send me an assortment of pictures of him as a youth, and a young man.

Had he been given the opportunity to attend university, I am sure he would have excelled. He was exceptionally sharp--brilliant, both with intelligence and an utterly dry, acerbic wit. (from whence mine comes!) There was nothing he could not fix, figure out, make, or make light of! Life was a never ending cornucopia of things to learn.

But it was the '40's, and the nation went to war, and he was called, serving his time in the Pacific Theater--New Guinea and Australia. What he saw, what he experienced, never left him but left permanent scars. He would speak of little of it later in life and though I wondered and would have liked to have shared the knowledge of the real facts of the time, I respected his choice to forget.

And like most service men of the era, he came home, was reassigned to a different station (Fort Knox, the Armored School as an Instructor), met a girl and married. Thus began the part of his life I knew.

A photo of my parents, young, happy....I still have the clock he is holding that was a gift from her. It had in it a bayberry candle. We would only light it during the holidays. The clock was an antique and he frequently had it apart, refurbishing all the tiny pieces, some so small he used a magnifying glass and tweezers to handle them.

Father couldn't ski at all, but he was a complete ham as is his progeny.....

.....this is a much more realistic shot of the day in the Alps, when they were stationed in Vicenza, Italy, where I was born.
Looking back at these photos in bittersweet tears, I realize how very short life is, captured in a few pieces of celluloid, tattered paper and emulsion, fading away and most of what you know is in your heart. You slowly allow the bad to pass and what is left is the stellar portions of the people you loved the most.

May you always have someone you love to walk with, to talk with, to make the most of your days with.
I bid you peace.
I bid you joy.
And a long and loving life.
May it be so.


Sarah Ann Smith said...

Sniff and gulp.... what a wonderful tribute... it is that last photo that made the eyes overflow..... thank you for sharing, Sarah

Linda Moran said...

I miss my dad - gone way too soon at 49 - some 34 years ago.....thanks for a lovely tribute.

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Thanks girls.....
It is odd because all yesterday I was just overwhelmed by this feeling of heavy sadness. Sometimes I get past the anniversaries and I'm fine. I think this year with the injury and all the *stuff* going on in life, it hit home.
On the other hand, the funny part was when I was covering the parakeets for the night, I was crying and usually they fight going *nite-nite*. Instead they sat, with their heads cocked, looking at me and just making the softest little sounds.
It's just been a tough year, to say the least....... <:)

teri said...

Life is not all we want sometimes but it's all we get ... thank you for this post, it will mean a lot to your followers for their own reasons ... but I hope it helped you to put your feelings into words. take care

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

I'm tough....or so I tell myself! :)
Still in P.J.s and trying to get to the wet studio to work, but mostly being lazy today.
You take care too.....

Anonymous said...

I got tears too, Anne. What a sweet tribute to your Dad!
Sometimes it is fine to just let the sadness and tears come...a
remembrance if you will...I've been feeling a little meloncholy lately too, remembering some good times. thats the glue that holds us together!
It sounds like you have some great memories too...glad you were given his sense of humor..
Thank goodness for our wonderful
interests that see us thru these times..too.
as much as we look forward to your musings each take some time for yourself...
xoxo, gypsy

yoborobo said...

Anne, what a lovely tribute. I love that last picture of the two of them together, laughing. It brought tears to my eyes. I think you have your dad's smile. :) Don't forget you are kin to many of us here in Blog World, our sister in art and sometimes in pain. Thank you for sharing this - you'll be in my thoughts today! xox Pam

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Sometimes it's just nice to know there are friends you can share the memories with that understand and have been there, sadly, too.
Dad was a HOOT!!! 9 kids in that family and only two with this insane, deadpan, wordplay sense of humor. It has gotten me in trouble more than once!
I couldn't find the picture of him dressed as a hula dancer, which is probably just as well. I, like him, am always game for a bet and will go to all lengths to get the final word/laugh.
Which isn't necessarily a good thing.....LOL!!!!

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...


If you saw good pix of dad and I side by side, we look alike. The older I get, the more I look like him and his side of the family.
Yes, I am so thankful for my friends in this Bloggosphere---we all have paths that run much the same.
I thought the last photo was a perfect way to end the post....totally forgot I had it.

Jan said...

Wow. Hope you are feeling well today even through your tears. This is the first time I have seen photos of your Mom, and more photos than I have seen of your Dad before. Definitely a physical resemblance as well as the personality resemblance. Your memories are the best but these photos are next best. Thanks for sharing.

Where is my kleenex?

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Your kleenex is gone....I swiped it. ;)
I've been working in the wet studio; feeling much better. Art is my escape from everything (including the sink of dirty dishes!)
Yep, I'm a big nut off the Huskey tree.....can't deny that one.
By the way, install Firefox and learning to use it. Evidently the Blogger issues have been resolved.

Georgina said...

Hey lady...wonderful testament to your pops. I know how that is. My dad passed away dec. 9 of 2008 and he is sooo missed. thanks for the comments and prayers...will be thinking of you and know your memories are wonderful. God bless.

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

So glad things went good with the baby!!! Welcome back to real life now......maybe the clothes and cooking weren't so bad? :)

Leslie said...

What a lovely memorial. Thank you for sharing. Peace be unto you.

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Gratiae Leslie.
Yesterday is much better.... :)


Anonymous said...

Glad today was better, Anne..

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Thanks Jean----it passes.
But sometimes I think it is very good also to remember, even if it is with tears. Makes me think of the Egyptian saying:

"To speak the name of the dead is to make them live again."

Always thought that was a beautiful and true sentiment!


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