Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunday Ramblings


Even after a *play day*, lazing on the couch and a good night's sleep, I still feel physically exhausted and non focused artistically. I tell you, finishing a large commission is like losing a job. Suddenly there is all this time on your hands and you don't know what to do.
So I chose a long nap yesterday afternoon and the beginning of a scarf kit I had ordered and been itching to knit.
Well.
After two shots at enlarging the Fair Isle grid to blind-old-fart size, I got about two inches knit last evening and since it is supposed to be around 76" long, I'm thinking I will be wearing it next year. I also am not crazy about one or two sections of color combinations, so I might switch things around, to further complicate the matter. Hey, if I run out of yarn, I'll buy another skein of something else. No big deal. But I did have moments when I wondered what screw in the head had finally popped completely loose to start that pattern.......
This morning I sit in the beautiful quiet of the country with only the sound of an occasional car on the road or the furnace kicking on, a cup of good coffee and my soul completely at rest. I'll be catching church service on the web later and have no pressure today. It is a nice but odd feeling. I am still decompressing from the banners, and as I have talked with other artists, they go through the same struggles I did with these. It is not that we hate our work, and we certainly don't hate being paid! Oh no!
But the striking individualism that makes us what we are makes it hard to lasso all that focus into one *something* when our brains are going elsewhere and the inner child is throwing a fit to go play. Sad but true...eh?  ;-)   I am, for the most part, fairly disciplined when I start work but that doesn't mean I don't want to say to heck with it and do something else. In fact, when I am not in serious crunch time, I usually have something going in the wet studio to be able to sneak down for a few minutes and then come back to the job at hand. I've found that works well.....when I have the time. I did not  with this last project, and I think that is why I am so discombobulated about what to do now. (I knit all winter, so that doesn't count......)
Yes, I worked on the felted sweater parts yesterday, and yes I enjoyed that but it requires a lot of heavy hand guidance so it is a project that will get attention as the body agrees to it.
I still want to paint or collage, but am at a loss.
Maybe tomorrow, when the banners are hanging in the church, when the photos are taken of them and I have put them up on here and feel completely done---completely---maybe then the path will open up. I have learned patience with the process, though I am most impatient to DO art.
Now.
Right now.
But I think I will wait, and refresh the coffee instead, and enjoy just sitting.....doing nothing....in the quiet.

Pax.

16 comments:

Robbie said...

I thought it was me feeling almost inadequate after finishing a major project. You wonder what you'll do with all your time now! But soon enough life will be back to the excitement of a new project (which entails: rushing, enjoying, frustration, fun and not so nice words flowing from our mouth!).

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Robbie---LOL!!!! Yes, indeed, you're right! it's just so bizarre how the work process is and then when we have time, PLOP. Can't focus.....
I think it gets used up and you (we) need down time to recharge! and get ready for the bad-wrd-days! HAHAHAHA!!!

XXOO!!
Anne

yoborobo said...

Oh Anne! You have nailed this right on the head - it IS your inner child throwing fit to go play. I was exactly there last night. I have at least 4 things to finish by Tuesday, and what was I doing? Playing with a new doll - LITERALLY!!! hahahah! Finally, I made myself put her down (but first I pinned on her arms just to see how they would look!) and forced myself to work on those other projects. What is scaring me, just a little, is that I never used to be this bad! Does this mean in a year, I will be flitting back and forth between 30 unfinished projects while humming show tunes!?!?!?! LOL! Thank you for the giggle. Enjoy your coffee and your service. :) xoxo Pam

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Pam, I think....and I hate to say this....that it DOES get worse with age, because there is a point at which, funds or no funds, we get tired of spending our precious time on others projects and not finding the inner joy of working on our OWN.
That's my theory.....or excuse.....pick one!
I think we all have so much temperment for work that goes out, and then there is a time in life when we need our own work that is for no reason other than to stay in, with us, eventhough it might be offered for sale eventually.
This will either make complete sense or be a brain puddle here in the comment box..... ;)

XXOO!!
Anne

Linda Moran said...

I am learning (and yes, age has plenty to do with it) that it's okay to just rest- I think as women we don't pay nearly enough attention to what our bodies - and brains - tell us. I did a post earlier in the school year where I was saying I have to just accept the fact that there will be times when I am too tired to do art and school is more pressing. That said, November has not been one of those months - I have about 5 things going all at once, and I think that is the key for me. I can change up whatever I want to do. But I don't have commissioned work calling me, so that makes a difference.
Have a good veg-y kind of day - sometimes I think the art in our brains is sufficient!

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

I agree Linda---we drive ourselves when we shouldn't and that just adds to the mental gaps for creativity.
I am slowly learning (the hard way!LOL!) that I can no longer do this and need to accept mor down time, especially now.
But then there is that kicking, whining inner child, pushing me on.....it's always a tough call, eh?

XXOO!!
Anne

yoborobo said...

It makes perfect sense to me. I am getting quite stingy with my time. And I really want to find some way (PLEASE!!!) to reduce the stress in my life, and increase the futzing time. Time to experiment creatively, and fail and say "Huh, that didn't work" and try something else, without this Nurse Rachett character that lives in me screaming "You have to get something DONE!!!" Okay, that was my brain puddle for the day. xoxox Pam

gypsylulu said...

Ahhh, Anne..i am so thrilled the banners are to be delivered soon...
hoooray for you..you did it!
in spite of all the frustrations!...just settle back now and do just as you feel!
Sorry i've been scarce in here...
but you know i have been busy with my new interest! but i'll get back to speed...
XOXO, gypsy

Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

I actually got over my 'what to do' state of flux yesterday. I put the binding on my Wizard of Oz quilt (don't ask LOL), and listed it in my etsy shop. I also managed to list a couple of other things (why is it that the 15 minutes it takes to list an item on etsy seems like such a CHORE?!). I have a very small little wall hanging I hope to quilt today and get finished - and then take some photos of other things that need to be listed. All just busy work - nothing really creative or artistic. But necessary. I do feel better for having achieved something.

You feel comforted by hearing the furnace?! Everytime it clicks on, all I can do is see $'s flying out the window. Not that I'm greedy or anything.

HOpe your day today is fulfilling and rewarding, doll!

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Pam, the first thing to do is to learn to say the word *NO*....and mean it. I have let a lot go here this year and learned that while it annoyes me, I can live with it. I have dropped a lot of the things I used to do that consumed all my time---people still ask me to do them and I graciously decline---and had it not been for so much sickness here, I probably would not be brain puddling myself!
I panic when there is too much to do, and the best way NOT TO, is of course, to make changes.
I have to see what is really important to me (art and sewing and some extra money) and then try and pursue things in that order.
It's not easy and we are constantly reminded we should "do more".....crap.
we need to find what we love, do it, and to heck with the rest.
Please remind me to listen to my own advice..... ;)

XXOO!!
Anne

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Hey Gypsy,

Yep, I understand your new passion, and am quietly observing from the sidelines, cheering you on! We only have so many hours in the day....which is why I have questioned my own *sideline*......LOL!!!
So take it easy; don't kill yourself in the process--okay????

XXOO!!
Anne

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Hey Tristan,

LOL!!! Yeah, I like the sound of the furnace because it means the big mother is working and I'm not having to call the repairman---and THAT'S where the $$$ go out the window!
I putzed today after the web church service; sloppy joes in the crock pot, the kitchen semi clean, sugar cookie dough in the fridge and I think I'll knit this afternoon.
A nice steamy shower with some great Italian coconut soap I found (of all places) at Big Lots. I sort of feel semi pampered!
I tell you, that 15 minutes you're talking about to list an Etsy item is what makes me wonder---do I really want to DO that???? (yes, probably.....grrrrrr.....)
I need more than time management; I need an understudy to do THAT stuff and I can create.
And you do too!!! :)
Have a great one!!!

XXOO!!!
Anne

A Stitch In Thyme said...

Could you send me a link of your online services... I've never heard of such a thing & it would be perfect for me.

I am also very disciplined with custom/commissioned pieces. I have to be as I garuntee a pretty fast turn around. It is very daunting for sure especially if your working with colors that are not friendly to the eyes. It makes it difficult.

I've had issues with my hips, long bones and headaches which makes getting deadlines done even more daunting but, furnace heat, winter socks and pup in my lap helps pull me through. :)

The weather is getting ready for the official turn of season, can you feel it? Hugs. Tammy

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Tammy, I will send you the link when I am on my computer (upstairs on DH's)---either this evening or tomorrow. It's a United Methodist service, actually they webcast two, early morning traditional and the 10:30 contemporary which I LOVE. it is so nice to be able to be part of church even when you can't *be* there!
I forgot my Vit D yesterdya and was in severe pain, and yes, I sure can feel the weather turning! I'm ready for snow! (which I will complain I have to shovel, but I love it!
Take care---pace yourself as much as possible on your work.

XXOO!!
Anne

Magpie's Mumblings said...

I think it's so true that as we get older we start to realize that we do need our OWN work in order to be complete. The money (altho important) ceases to be the main ingredient. We need to be happy with what we do and also be able to go off in whatever direction our spirit moves us in. It sounds like that is where you are right now and is where I was at a couple of years ago. Now my first inclination when someone asks me to do/make something is to say 'no' and then, if I reconsider later, it's generally not to late to say I've changed my mind. Works for me!

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

I think it comes with age---we just get past saying *yes* because we're expected to, and have this deep desire to do what we want or need to creatively.
I've been trying to do too many things for the past three years, and that was how the hip got broken; running to do something for the local art group.
The GOOD thing of that is it has given me time to reassess my priorities, and when my slate is really cleared (surgery, two other works) then I have some very serious thinking to do.
Maybe when you get around 50 *NO* just is an easier part of the vocabulary! LOL!!!

XXOO!!
Anne

Post a Comment

Talk to me Dahling!
I'm waiting, breathless...... ;-D