At any rate, of the number of quilts I have made, this is one of my favorites and sadly, the vinyl the jacket was made of is deteriorating. When it was out on tour, it was not stored in a climate controlled space, came home with creases and pet hair and I was sick. That was one of the determining factors in my withdrawal from shipping and showing work, and also a beginning of the desire for mixed media. I just knew there had to be a better way of self expression, and I learned that the lure of money or my name being out there meant little. I guess it was then that it hit me that I do art for the pleasure of ART, and hopefully for pleasure it brings to others (which is why I blog).
The name of the piece is "43 Enshrined: Inner Sanctum". It speaks of that point in life where you are midway. To the viewers right is the sturdy whole column, to the left, the inverted torch and crumbling rock and brick. And there *I* am, right in the middle, my life and loves summed up within the representation of my signature leather jacket. Music, New Orleans, my tattoo artwork, other small charms of protection, and good old skinny me in a pair of leather pants I would give my eye teeth to squeeze back into again! (delusional Anne......carry on) And my favorite bass, a Fender Jazz bass, now sold.......oh the action was smooth, the neck fast and the sound out of this world!!! How I miss it.
It seems like this past year has been such a time of transition in one form or another, that if I was to remake this piece today, I ask myself, "What would the contents of the jacket be?" What would be the dominating themes in my life? Where, exactly, as an artist and as a person am I now?This was easy at 43. It was a full year, a ripe and verdant time. In the year of the impending 50, I am not sure. Is life defined by decades or moments, sweet and short? Is it filled with pleasure or pain---do we subtly forget the hurt over time and fill our *jackets* with the warm memories of things past and accomplishments achieved? As we grow older, do we wish to DO more but find less time, and have to face the realization that there is a finite amount we will achieve and refine that area?
What fills YOUR jacket at this point in your life? What road are you on?
And the question I perpetually ask myself: Am I where I am supposed to be, doing the work I should be doing, or is it all a tempering of mettle for something else ahead.
So.........where are YOU and what is your life full of?
I hope creativity, in one form or another is part of it.
Pax.
10 comments:
Pretty kewl piece, I likes it... Transitions, I look back and wonder where the time went...
You raise some interesting questions. What would I put in my jacket? It is interesting to see what women older than myself are doing in their more mature years. It makes me realize that there is still plenty of creativity ahead of me with any luck. I too have decided to make my art for the pure pleasure of it and quit humiliating myself with my inability to sell it. There are so many artists out there making such fabulous stuff, why beat myself up trying to compete. You are one of the fabulous ones.
Me too Leslie...shocked me when I saw the date on the piece....has it been THAT long? (well...yes...)
Jan, fabulous means nothing in the long run. Commercial crap is what sells--stuff with stolen bits and pieces crammed together for a market that is uneducated in art. An impulse buy, a quick fix, a throw-away item. and that's not *art* for me.
I do think as we age, we have a depth to our work that was not there earlier, and I suppose that is why, when looking at this, I wonder what it would be like now. I don't desire to remake it, but it is an interesting thought.
I have, for the past several years, questioned my path, and maybe that's part of where I am chronologically.
Truly, I wish I knew someone that could answer that for me.
And thanks for the MOST GENEROUS compliment! It means a lot!
Today is one of the big zeros, and I find myself slowing down - and enjoying it. I am getting more art time, more reading, more relaxing - not making as many lists - if I want to relax, I can. It's quite freeing - I have nothing to prove to anyone - and it took a long time to get past that feeling! I know my teaching and my art are imnportant - took me many years to get here!
Thanks for another great post.
It's always good to hear how other artists deal with these rights-of-passage, because I guess that's what I feel it is. W both have posted about it, so I think there is a synchronicity in the resposes and feelings.
Maybe that's it. It just takes us years to get HERE.
And that's okay.
This is the 3rd or 4th comment I've started! They just seem to get too long.
Maybe I don't think deeply enough. I just seem to chug along, in life.
John and I were talking about life goals, just a few days ago. Until I was diagnosed with cancer 11 years ago, I only had one...get though the day. Constant pain and depression will do that to you.
I did think about what I was doing when I was 43. I had been married, to a wonderful man, for 20 years, I had an 11 yo daughter struggling with undiagnosed mental health problem and I was battling breast cancer.
The one goal I set during chemo...see Julie graduate from high school, has been met...homeschooling can be a bear!
Now, I want to see Ayden start kindergarten as a happy, well adjusted, litte boy.
I don't know what is in my "jacket"...maybe I just don't understand.
You've just described it---the jacket is you, your life, what is important, what you enjoy, what's in your heart.
Bravo!
Oh...then my jacket is lined with a hand pieced, hand stitched quilt, with a satin ribbon on the collar and ribbon. :)
I took one of my quilts off tour because it came home damaged...broke my heart.
I hear you; I had it happen with two, obviously this one, but the other one was a chocolate or blood stain that I did not notice for a long time, plus permanent creases in an ironed on transfer area. I was livid. I had paid good money and had a big heavy box to ship it in loosely rolled with the whole central portion flat. Not only was there quilt damage, there was the loss of the box and the prepaid return shipping for a box that size.
Mad doesn't even begin to describe it.......you know me.....
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